How would you describe the feeling of being in a relationship?

Ecstatic?

Suffocated?

Neglected?

Happy?

Bored?

Waiting to run out?!

Well, irrespective of which adjective you chose, you’d be surprised to know that most people go through ALL of these phases when in a relationship.

The beginning of a new relationship is probably always ecstatic. The partners are just about exploring each other, and trying to keep each other happy in whatever way they can!

Probably doing things they wouldn’t normally,like, spending long hours talking to each other, texting romantic messages, buying each other gifts… the list could be pretty long!

A few months down and the same things begin to suffocate! How can one be expected to keep up the long hours of chatting, and what more is there to be heard? Don’t we know everything there is to know? Haven’t we said everything that was romantic? Haven’t we brought all kinds of gifts already, what more could we probably buy? Arrgh….but the expectations of one partner, built upon the foundation laid by the other, has begun to suffocate.

The other partner probably has begun to feel neglected. Wondering if it is the same person they fell in love with! It’s difficult to gauge where all that shower of affection has gone. Bouts of fights, bouts of crying, bouts of cold wars, have begun dotting the day. Things have begun to go from bad to worse.

Further into the relationship, and the emotions now borders on the boring. Familiarity has indeed started to breed contempt! The person could run away any day! But so could their partner!

Why did this even happen? How did love fly out of the window?

Well, many relationships fail for the simple reason that we aren’t true to who we are. We try to be someone who will be likeable. We try to please the other. But how long can pretence last? The mask will have to be shed someday. And then, when the true nature surfaces, it is time for disappointment!

So how do you ensure that you find a meaningful relationship with someone and keep it strong? There’s only one mantra.

Be true. Be you.

In other words, Always. Be. You.

Let your partner fall in love with the real you. That way you will avoid unnecessary expectations, and disappointments later. If you are not a gift-giving person, don’t try to pretend you are. If you are a cleanliness freak, don’t hide it. If your working hours are chaotic, let it be known. If sports (or movies, or books, or shopping or whatever) is your first love, let your partner know that.

The point is, don’t say you hate sports, just because your partner hates it, when you are the kinds who would bunk office for a cricket match. Don’t spend time taking your partner’s hour long calls all day if you are the kinds who will stick to one liners. That way your partner knows how much to expect. Don’t pretend to enjoy PDA when you actually loathe it. You will spare your partner the thought of you having changed later in to your relationship.

What if your partner doesn’t like the real you? I’d say, good for you. And good for your partner. Most relationships end up breaking after the real person behind the mask surfaces. You don’t want to go through a heartbreak later, do you? It is always better to have your partner love the real you, rather than becoming the person, you think, they would want to fall in love with.

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